Posted in Daily Prompt, Parenting, Thoughts, What happened?

I’m a bad mom!Β 

As much as I love my kids, I love them too. After about 10-15 hours with my children everyday, cleaning the house, cooking, chauffeur-ing, taking care of business. I’d love to have time watching Grey’s Anatomy just for 2 episodes (2 hours out of hundreds hours I spend with the kids) once a week. 

What is so wrong in having a time, watching my favorite TV show? Can I skip just one night sending the kids to bed, just a good night kiss instead of spending 20-30 minutes reading Bible, looking for mosquitoes, telling stories, and other before bed routines? 

Would I be a bad mother for choosing Grey’s Anatomy over my kids for 2 hours? 

Would I be a bad mother wanting a time to watch TV? 

Would I? 

Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Parenting, Thoughts

Should I be worry?Β 

My old self wouldn’t be thanking God for giving me this financial crisis, where I’m bearly afford anything. But you know what… I’m finding my new self in this ashes of crumbling life of mine. 

I thought that I wouldn’t survive another crash, couldn’t bear any more pain, couldn’t stay any longer and try to be tougher. I do. I am doing it. Not easy, it’s super hard, but I’m gonna do it. This too shall pass. 

My old self would be worrying about anything now, everything. I would be devastated for not being able to shop for clothes, to not sit in a restaurant with my friends eating expensive food, to not do anything I want that would surely cost me some money, to not go somewhere and have a nice vacation. 

Now, I’m in my 5th day on my ‘no spend’ week and I’m not dying, I’m still alive. I survive. 

Now, I see what’s more important in life. Not the clothes I wear, not the food I eat, not all the blinking sparkling life I tried to showed off to people. 

I know now, that God is more interested in the ministry I do while I’m wearing my clothes, even if its a cheap clothes. God is more concerned with what I’m gonna do with the energy the food gives me, even if its just ‘a low end’ kinda food. God is a lot more invested in what I’m going to do when I’m somewhere, even if I’m only going to school for my kids everyday and not spending time at the mall or vacationing at one part of Indonesia. 

Instead of worrying about unimportant things, I know that God has something better for me to do, besides worrying my life. I think I’m gonna maintain this lifestyle and I’m bringing my kids along with me in this journey πŸ™

Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Parenting, Thoughts

I found him!Β 

I am running out of Joel Osteen’s videos on YouTube. Searching for another preach and I found him. 

I often watch Joel’s with the kids and I showed them Jon’s, they prefer Jon’s. Maybe coz he’s young and send the message in a more ‘fun’ way. The kids accept it well. Of course I choose what subject to give my kids base on their need in their age, and Jon covers almost everything. And his sermons are mostly short so the kids won’t get bored. 

After they watch it, I add a little more explanation to their questions regarding the sermon. Well, I’m not a Bible expert, don’t even know how to find a verse fastly, but I sure know how to explain a bit or two about being a human according to how God wants us to be. And I always relate the verses and sermons to their/our life. 

I’m still learning and I’m bringing my kids long πŸ˜‰ 

Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Thoughts

Confession!Β 

I have a confession! 

I’m not good at praying. At church all I say through the hours is only “Thank You!”. All I say through the sermon is “Amen!”. Repeatedly, like a mantra. 

I have the same prayer before my meals, the exact words as I was praying 20 (ish) years ago. I don’t sit in silence to pray. I didn’t know how to pray. I still don’t. 

Was I not blessed for not praying good prayers? I was. Abundantly. Am I not blessed for (still) not praying good prayers? I am. Abundantly. 

I believe, God knows me. God knows what I need and He will provide. Doesn’t have to be what I want, but He knows what is best for me. 

All these years I learn not to ask, but I open my heart to receive. When I ask, I would get disappointed when things don’t turns out how I wanted it to be. But when I condition myself to receive, all I feel is gratitude. 

God breathed life in me, created me, He’s the only one who knows me inside out. I don’t have to ask, He provides, and I will receive with gratitude πŸ™ 

Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Thoughts

God is a demanding God

It’s true! 

Yes He give us the freedom to choose. He won’t insist that we choose His path. Still, we have to be responsible.

We choose to be married, we have to work hard to keep the marriage. 

We choose to have children, we have to take care of the kids and providing. 

We choose to buy a house, we have to pay the mortgage and take care of the house. 

So many things we have chosen in our life, God provides. Yet, He demands our responsibility. 

The more you can proof that you’re capable in handling things you have, God will provide more. I have faith in that. 

Think of it like this… 

I’ve been praying to buy a house. Our own house. Hubby’s been working hard so we can buy a house. We’ve been renting big houses, small houses, even tiny apartment. All those times, I keep the house neat and clean, so I can provide a healthy home for my children. I’ve had helper to maintain the house coz I was working, but the goal is there. 

Now we have our own house. Bigger than any of the rented houses and much much bigger than our tiny little apartment. Now I don’t have a helper, I clean and organize my house by myself. Keep everything as comfortable as possible and healthy for the kids. Do you think God will provide me this big house if all those times I didn’t maintain my previous houses? 

Do you think you can give an expensive phone to your children when they always break every cheap phone you bought for them? Of course you want them to show you that they can be trusted to have an expensive phone. That they’re responsible enough to take care of the phone. Right? 

Our Father in heaven is also like that. He wants us to show Him that we can be trusted for Him to give something bigger to you. He’s Almighty, He can give ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. But first, He demands your responsibility. 

I have an online shop. What happen if I seldom upload my things to sale? No one will know what I was selling, who would’ve bought? So, I need to work. Take pictures, edit, upload, response. That’s the only way that God is able to bless me with income. No work no money. Simple. That’s how much God demands. 

If you want to have a successful life, career wise or life wise. Work your ass off. If work hard is not enough, work harder. You can’t simply live your life laying around the house, playing games till the next morning, sleeping when everybody is working and up when everybody is sleeping, idling around, not even trying to help yourself to be a better person. How would God grant you a better job nor a better life? 

We should be working dang hard to impress God. To show Him that we’re worthed His grand prize. Get up early in the morning, do something useful, help around, improve yourself. Don’t have a job, why should I get up early? Because you have God to impress on. He needs to know that you’re ready for the big job He’s planning for you. Until you show him that you’re able to handle them, He won’t give you that big job. 

Your boss won’t promote you if in your current position you don’t perform well. God is demanding like that. Show Him that you can handle a bigger job, then only He can give you. Simple. 

Same as money. Show Him that you can handle this amount of money (whatever your income is), be wise in spending them, be thoughtful, then only He will provide you with more money. The more you show him, the more money He trust you with. 

So, to me… God is a demanding God. 

Posted in Daily Prompt, Hacks, How To, Recipe, What I Do, What I Eat

Meal Prep #1

Hi… 

Welcome back 😘

Hit the ‘follow’ button if you haven’t already 😘

Today I’m gonna share with you my first attempt to meal prepping. I always wanted to start eating healthy but I don’t have the support I needed, my hubby is not into it and also the kids and also my mom, they love salt and always say that my cooking is tasteless. I know at some point salt is needed by our body, but we get it from other food such as chips and others. 

I’m 38 now, desperately need to control my eating. So, I’m determined to start. Been watching meal prep videos on YouTube and I was trying to do the exact same thing, such as containers and all, then I never start waiting for having this and that 😌 

Then last night I’ve done it. Finally! Like getting it off my chest πŸ˜‚ I’m doing it differently with the same ideas. I cook several different food, keeping it separately, so I can mix match them instead of eating the same meal for the whole week. 

Let’s get started so I can elaborate it more to you πŸ‘Œ

Coleslaw. I like all kinds of salad. I make this for snack or just add it to my meal.

Sauteed bok choy with a lot of garlic, love garlic 😁, and tomatoes (4 tomatoes). 

I steam 1 kg of sweet potatoes. 

Mashed potatoes without creamer. I just steamed it and mashed it with salt and pepper. 

Brown rice. Cooked it in the rice cooker. 

Chicken. I cut 500gr of boneless chicken breast into small cubes. Add a little of vegetable oil to the pan, add minced garlic (I don’t count, just a lot), add chicken, teriyaki sauce, oyster sauce, soy sauce, tomato sauce, pepper, a bit of water. All the sauces are just about a tablespoon. Cook it until the water is drying out. That’s all. 

Steamed cauliflower and squash. 

That’s it. That was all I was preparing. I could have mashed potatoes with chicken, cauliflower and coleslaw or brown rice with bok choy or anything I wanted. I can have a vegetarian menu also. Everyday will be a different meal πŸ˜‰ 

What do you think? I’m just a starter and will be experimenting here and there. But I think it’s a good start. 

If you’re anything like me, try this one. Don’t wait until you have everything you wanted (usually for trying to do the same as others), start with what you have. And if you want varieties, do it like I did, so you can mix your meal as you wanted, instead of eating the same for the whole week, which can be a downer. 

If you have any other ideas or suggestions, please comment below. I’d love to hear from you. And if you finally start your meal prepping, please tag me on Instagram. 

Thank you and see you soon 😘 

Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Parenting, Thoughts

Recognizing Your Value

I was having a struggle. Every year, I bought new books for my kids, never thought of getting a passed on books, and never thinking of buying them outside the school (school books are more expensive). 

I was trying to give the best for my kids, not gonna let them feel embarrassed for using a passed on books. I wanted them to have a good value in front of their friends. And that is misleading. 

Now, God has introduced me to a whole new level of life and self worth. My value (and the kid’s) is not determined by how much money I have, what brand I wear, or on what people’s opinion about me. 

My value is solely determined on the fact that I am the child of God. Yes I am forced (by our financial condition) to thrift the kid’s books, asking for a passed on books from all the people I know, having a hassle trying to clean up notes written all over the books, making them as good as possible for my kids to use, went to another book store coz they give 15% off the price but I have to go there everyday to check on their availability, and almost every time I went home with no books coz it’s still unavailable. 

The kids are asking, they wanted to have the books like the rest of their friends, but I need to tell them to be patient and be grateful for what we have. Abe even offered me to buy the book from his money (got it from his uncles and aunts for his birthday), I told him no, I’m good, I just need more time and wait for the book store to stock on them. 

This verse really got me. 

I was living a life trying to impress other people, trying to make myself valuable, trying to enhance my self worth. 

Well… I don’t need to. I am created, anointed, approved, by my creator who breathed life in me. 

Think of me as you like but I don’t need to do anything to proof people my value, let alone people’s approval. 

We belong to God. We are the child of Most High God! Don’t let people discounted your value! 

Posted in Adulting, Daily Prompt, Thoughts

Not a joke (?)Β 

A conversation took my mind away. Started from a joke (supposed) turns to a hatred. Someone made a joke and the person got it all worked up. 

Of course, a joke can be a catastrophe when it’s being said at the wrong time, wrong person, wrong place. But how would we know? We don’t read minds. 

What we thought was a simple joke, taken seriously by that person. I joke around and sometimes the joke was on me. If I take it all personally, I’ll have gazillions enemies, don’t even have a family coz I despise them too for making fun of me. 

I might as well live in a jungle where the wilds don’t pass a joke on me coz what they see in me isn’t joke material but a meal. 

Well… It’s true what its says “It is all in the mind”. We react to everything. Our reaction defines who we are and what we are. We could live angry, dissatisfied, negative, grumpy, and alone. Or… We could live happy, positive, smiley, peaceful, and not alone. 

We are not in control of other people’s attitude towards us, but we definitely can control ours

Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Parenting, Thoughts, What happened?

Faithful In The Process

Starting a blank page at the church while waiting for Abe on his worshipper class. 

Monday the kids are going back to school, meaning I’ll be busy hustling around, busting my ass, trying to do everything in such little amount of time. 

Between house chores, cooking, VA works, online shop, blogging, school, music class, tutor class, extracurricular, for both kids 😌 

Desperately need to plan my days or I’ll be running around like a chicken without its head 😨 I sure don’t wanna loose my head 😜 

Sometimes I just wanted to go back working, leave everything taken care by a helper like the way it used to be, less headache for me, and we really need the extra income. 

But I really don’t have the heart to do it. So many many times I go back and forth about it. 

The Bible said, we must listen to our inner ear, coz God speaks to it. Follow your heart, we say. 

So I’ll just play along with life, with what God plans for me, coz sure His plans are far way better for me πŸ™ 

Posted in Daily Prompt, Thoughts, Writings

Drifting

Deny all you want

As stubborn as you wish

Hurting is a habit

Pain is a friend

Take as many wins 

Serve beautifully 

Confetti the path

I’m no angel

I don’t forget

I’m losing my grip

Deny all you want

As stubborn as you wish

We’re drifting away