Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Thoughts, Writings

Glaring

I’m human. 

Going through many sufferings as you do. We walk a different kind of sufferings yet we’re the same. 

Pain seems to be glaring at us, waiting to get closer, reaching, impatiently approaching. 

Ever wonder why we’re still here? Sometimes on a better path, sometimes we find ourselves back to where we began, sometimes we feel stuck, going nowhere. 

Often times we thought that only death will end all of these pain. But we’re scared of the unsure guarantee in ending this suffocating broken world. 

I’m feeling the exhaustion of living the life of me. Don’t you too? Why after all this time, we still have the faith that we still have God’s mercy? Why suffer when God Himself promised us that He will take care of us? Why do we still hope? So many why’s… 

But because we human, have to be united in mind, sympathy, brotherly love, having a tender heart, and a humble mind. We treat each other as believers since unity and fellowship are going to be the glue that keep us together when time gets rough. 

What He promised, He will fullfil! 

Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. And after you have suffered a little while, God Himself will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 

When you feel the need to give up, trying to put a stop to all of your pain, surround yourself with people in faith, seek God. 

God is everywhere, covers everything in this world. You can find God in YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, blogs, everywhere. God creates all of this greatness of technology, didn’t He? Might as well use it for our good. For our mission in building His Kingdom in this world. 

Believe that what’s broken, already healed through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. Holding hands, we are the children of God, will live by God’s mercy, standing tall and unshakeable. 

Have faith, keep honoring God, stay grateful, know that you’re not alone. We’re in this together!

Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Thoughts, Writings

I am the living proof!Β 

We Indonesian have so many secrets. We Indonesian are taught to keep our flaws in a dark place. Never share to anybody else, coz it’ll be an embarrassment. To you, your parents, your family. We don’t want to be the headline and make people turn their head and talking about us. 

We Indonesian are taught to always put on our masks. Stay on the stage, playing happy characters. And I spent my teenage years playing happy doll. I drowned myself in depression. Unable to talk to anybody, swallowing every bit of my mental sickness. 

Till I reached to the point of ending my life, not being afraid of dying, but scared that I’ll give an embarrassment to my mom and my family. Thinking that I was alone. Even death didn’t scare me. 

Now, thanks to God that we live in internet world. I am know in knowledge that I am not alone. I find a lot of people, similar as myself, sharing their life. Not Indonesian. 

I am coming out of my shell. Sharing what Indonesian find as a tabu, an embarrassment. I find myself being helped by people sharing their life and I want to be the blessing too. If even in the tiny lil bit part of your life, that I can give you any support you need, I am happy. 

You giving me your life, is a hero to me. You’ve been helping me. And I want to give back. If me, sharing my life could be a material for you to make fun of me and talk about me, I can’t stop you. 

I am not in control of how your mind works. But I am in full control of my mind. If God has giving me His blessings, I want to share to you. I am the living proof of God’s greatness. 

I want to show you, that you’re not alone. We are all in this together. Don’t get discouraged, coz I got your back, as you got mine. No matter how big your problem is, we have a bigger God. 

Posted in Adulting, Daily Prompt, Thoughts, Writings

How to be happy!Β 

The pursuit of happiness can really trap someone into ambiguity. What is happiness? What makes you happy? Are you happy? I think that whatever we do, as human, we are aiming for happiness. 

We shop coz it makes us happy. What kind of shopping that makes us happy? What do we buy that brings us happiness? Really… Why is it so hard to be happy? Is it hard? 

I’m not trying to say that I’m the most happiest person in the whole world, but I’m trying to be happy, just like you are. This is me sharing how to be a more happy person and hope it can help you find a little happiness. 

Of course everyone is different, but in some ways we could actually learn something from each other. So, please leave a comment about what makes you happy, share with me. I’d like to learn from you too. 

Let’s get started with I think will make us a more happy person;

1. Grateful Lifestyle

We might not have everything we want, but if you open yourself and see what you have, you’ll be grateful. A little thing that might skip your mind, if you take time to look around and see how that little thing really is a part of your life, of what you need, you will see how blessed you are. 

I have about 6 purses in my closet. Always try to buy a new one. I always find a reason to buy another. New model, new color, bigger, smaller, backpack, sling bag, for different occasions, different events, etc. Do I need all of those different purses? I thought I did, but no. For so many months, I only use one. What happen to the rest? In my closet, untouched, dusty, and some of them are breaking out. Turns out that I don’t need so many purses, it was a want. 

I wasn’t grateful for what I have and always wanting more coz I didn’t feel enough, always lacking. So, look around, be grateful for what you have. You’ll be a more happy person, content, and feel enough. 

2. Peaceful Mind

I know so many live in a very tiring life. Me watching them, feel tired, let alone them living their life. How is it not tiring when all they do is to find other people’s mistakes, finding someone else to point their fingers to, always picking a fight, always take the worst for anything and everything? 

How is it not tiring when you feel that you have to be right all the time? How is it not tiring that you don’t have any peaceful moment at all? Like you are always ready for a fight, to justify yourself, to put yourself so high that you forget who breathed life in you. 

Really… We don’t need to be always right in terms of being happy. Sometimes, letting go, let someone else win the argument is gonna make us happy. Coz we don’t get consumed by anger and disappoinment. We don’t waste our energy fighting some arrogant that is just too focus on themselves and won’t ever let us go without them winning. Tiring right? So, let go and have your peace. 

3. Positive Attitude

It is so easy to find any negativity in any aspect of our lives. We just have to choose not to. A cousin give you a business opportunity, if you’re interested then jump in. If not, don’t think that he just want your money and trick you. Well, he might have or he might not. You wouldn’t know. But keep your positive attitude. He might have bring you fortune and you just throw them in the garbage bin coz you’re too negative. 

A long time friend all of a sudden contacted you, saying hi. You and your negativity shoving him off, afraid that he wants something from you. Maybe to borrow some money, maybe to ask for a job, maybe wanting a help from you. He might have or he might not. You wouldn’t know. He might be someone that God send to help you with any of your problems right now. Or on the contrary. You could save him. 

Don’t always judge. Get out of that negativity box of yours. Try to find the good side of everything. You can literally laugh at your misfortune coz you will see that there are always good in anything. Always. 

4. Care For Others

Look around. Who do you see? What can you do for them? What do you see? What can you do about it? 

Often, we are too busy with ourselves, making ourselves happy and not looking around. Our way to happiness can sometimes bring sadness and disappoinments to others. 

Playing games can bring you joy and satisfaction, but then you neglect the people around you. You neglect the time. You’re pushing them away. Without you knowing, they are moving away, staying away from you. And when it’s too late, you are left alone. 

Try to build some empathy. Care for what other’s needs, wants, and share life with them. Enjoy the process. Together. Leave your bubble and join the crowd. You’ll be surprised on how much you could laugh in one day. 

5. Happy People

Surround yourself with happy people. Positive people. People that can make you grow. People who brings you positivity. People who love some peace. 

We are like water. We shape through our media. If we’re in a glass, we’ll shape like a glass. If we’re in a bowl, we’ll shape like a bowl. How do you wanna shape yourself? 

You can’t expect to be a happy person when you’re involved in a grumpy, angry, negative people. Stay away from them! 

Have you seen the movie ‘Trolls’? The Bergens thought that their happiness is only happening when they eat Trolls. Their happiness depends on Trolls. Why? Coz they’ve seen how Trolls are a very happy people, they thought by eating them, they’ll be happy too. 

Trolls sings, hugs, love each other coz they are surrounded by songs, hugs and love. The Bergens? They stay grumpy, angry, sad, coz they’re all the same. One happy Troll can make one happy Bergen. But in the end they found out, that happiness comes only from within. 

Posted in Daily Prompt, Thoughts, Writings

Drifting

Deny all you want

As stubborn as you wish

Hurting is a habit

Pain is a friend

Take as many wins 

Serve beautifully 

Confetti the path

I’m no angel

I don’t forget

I’m losing my grip

Deny all you want

As stubborn as you wish

We’re drifting away

Posted in Daily Prompt, Thoughts, Writings

Twelve

Hi boy…

Twelve now

You were a surprise

But I never object

You were the reason I obey

Though I refuse to share 

For you, I said “I do”

I stayed strong through pointy fingers

You grew stronger

I broke so many times

Then you put all together again

I see you and I know love

I hold you and I feel love

For you, I said “I’ll stay”

Dear boy… 

Twelve now

The years of my battles

So many more years to come

Fighting to fix myself

Time has never been my favorite

For you, I said “I forgive” 

I shed tears 

You brought back the smile

To see you 

I have my world 

I’m older yet smaller

I’m torn to pieces

For you, I said “I’m okay”

My boy… 

Twelve now

I pray louder

Everyday is a lesson

Beat myself up 

Look at me and learn

For you, I said “I will”

Enlighten me

Show me 

Speak to me

Run to me

Twelve more

See me 

For you, I’ll say “I tried”

Posted in Daily Prompt, Thoughts, Writings

Comfort

A small comfort 

That’s all I need

I don’t ask big

Enough for not hurting

A little respect

That’s all I care

I refuse the spoil

Enough for not crying

When you chase, you get

When you hold, it slips

Love is what you lack

Pain is what you serve

I wish, I don’t exist

As my life is no longer live 

My eyes has no sparks

My soul has gone desert 

My heart has lost its beat

My mind has blocked its purpose

Me is no longer 

When I lost me

You lost me 

Posted in Daily Prompt, Thoughts, Writings

Jump

There you are

Here I am

We’ve never been in the same path

We grow nothing but hate

We see nothing but mistakes

We find nothing but keep losing

Love was never a resolution

Time was never a friend

The more we try

The more we cry

What we are trying to hold on was never a help 

Our grip was slipping

The tight was painful

We’re falling… Apart

Will you take the jump?

Will I take the jump?

Either way…

We need to let go 

Posted in Daily Prompt, Thoughts, Writings

Dumbstruck

I don’t know what’s the limit of dying

I don’t know what’s the limit of forgiveness

I don’t know what’s the limit of my tears

I don’t know what’s the limit of pain 

I don’t know what’s the limit of patience

I don’t know what’s the limit of staying

I don’t know what’s left 

I don’t know what’s good for you

I don’t know what else to give

Let go

I see nothing’s good growing

I’m dumbstruck

Let go

You lost me

I’m leaving

Posted in Daily Prompt, Thoughts, Writings

Rainbow

I’m red

I’m blue

I’m green

I’m yellow

I’m like a rainbow

Full of emotion

Raw and honest

I could love like no one else

I could touch and create the sparks

I could kiss like you need the air to breath

Forever could be ours

I’m worth the fight

Hurt me 

I turn cold like never been burned

I’m a storm without a thunder

My eyes are no longer looking

My mind is no longer thinking

My heart is no longer feeling

The rain no longer has rainbow

Gray and dark is the sight

Here and now

I no longer fight

Take a bow

I’m out of sight