Posted in Product Review, What happened?

Bolt Home + Big TV Review – Bahasa Indonesia

Hi,

Welcome to my blog πŸ™‚

Kali ini saya mau bagi-bagi pengalaman tentang Bolt Home & Big TV, internet dan TV berbayar. Blog kali ini saya pakai Bahasa Indonesia karena yang mau saya bicarakan adalah produk Indonesia yang dipakai oleh kebanyakan orang Indonesia. Semoga bisa membantu ya πŸ™‚

Saya mulai ceritanya dari awal nih, biar lebih nyambung…

Saat saya pindah ke kota ini 4th yang lalu, saya mengontrak sebuah rumah dan berlangganan Big TV. Waktu itu pas lagi belanja di Hypermart trus sales nya nawarin harga promo, so saya memutuskan berlangganan karena memang sejak dulu saya membiasakan anak-anak saya menonton Disney Channel dan channel anak-anak ber Bahasa Inggris. Dengan tidak mengurangi rasa nasionalis saya sebagai orang Indonesia, saya memutuskan untuk tidak membiasakan anak-anak menonton acara tv lokal (RCTI, SCTV, dll) yang kebanyakan menyuguhkan tayangan yang tidak sesuai dengan prinsip pendidikan yang saya terapkan kepada anak-anak saya. Disclaimer, ini pendapat saya pribadi dan saya yakin kita masing-masing memiliki pemikiran dan kebijakan sendiri yang diterapkan dalam keluarga kita. So, please respect one’s opinion and don’t get easily jumped on it when it’s not the same as yours πŸ™‚

Singkat cerita, setelah setahun kami berlangganan, kami pindah ke rumah kami sendiri (masih dalam kota yang sama) dan memutuskan untuk tidak melanjutkan berlangganan karena kami harus meneruskan paket berlangganan dengan provider lain yang belum genap 1 th. As we all know, biasanya paket berlangganan tiap provider itu minimal 1 th. Sebulan sebelum pindah, saya sudah menghubungi pihak Big TV untuk pemutusan berlangganan dan agar perangkat segera diambil sebelum saya pindah. Kan gak enak kalau misalnya rumah itu sudah dikontrak orang lain, trus saya harus ganggu mereka untuk pencopotan perangkat, makanya saya sudah menguhubungi call centre jauh-jauh hari. Pada awalnya pihak Big TV hendak mengenakan biaya pemutusan sebesar Rp. 100.000 tapi saya nolak, sesuai perjanjian pemutusan hubungan setelah 1 th tidak dikenakan biaya. Pihak Big TV menyetujui (karena memang saya benar) dan mengatakan akan ada teknisi yang menghubungi untuk pelepasan perangkat.

Tunggu punya tunggu, tidak ada yang menghubungi dan datang untuk melepaskan perangkat dan saya sibuk ngurus-ngurus pindahan. Decoder saya bawa pindahan ke rumah baru, saya simpan lengkap dengan semua lembaran-lembaran formulir pendaftaran di dalam box decoder Big TV, in case mereka contact saya setelah saya pindah, and saya merasa bertanggungjawab atas decoder tersebut karena itu memang tidak menjadi hak milik saya. Setahun lebih saya tinggal di rumah baru, berpikir bahwa urusan dengan Big TV sudah selesai.

Setahun lebih saya berusaha mencari provider internet yang bisa supply kebutuhan saya di rumah, tapi hasilnya nihil. FYI, saya tidak tinggal di kompleks perumahan tapi hanya berjarak 100-500 meter dari 5 buah kompleks perumahan di sekitar rumah saya. LIMA.

Setiap hari saya melewati kompleks-kompleks itu dan selalu melihat provider internet wara wiri menawarkan paket-paketnya dan sibuk tarik-tarik kabel ke rumah-rumah itu. Berkali- kali pula saya ajak mereka ke rumah saya untuk bisa mendaftarkan saya sebagai pelanggan dan berkali-kali pula saya kecewa. Tidak ada satu pun yang menyediakan layanan kepada kami diluar perumahan alias di perkampungan 😦 Indie Home, My Republic, Bolt, First Media, Neuviz, BNetFit, dan lainnya yang sudah saya lupa nama-nama nya. Sedih ya? 😦

Kenapa saya sampai ngotot mau berlangganan internet di rumah? Kan tinggal beli paket kuota aja. Well, its that simple kalau pemakaian saya cuma sekedar untuk chat dan browsing biasa, tapi saya bukan sekedar pengguna internet biasa (berasa makhluk asing hahaha) karena pemakaian kuota saya sekitar 50GB per minggu. Banyak? Banget. Buat apa aja? Pasti YouTube an terus! Yes and no hehehe. Saya emang addicted to YouTube πŸ˜€ Tapi… Saya gak streaming loh, saya selalu download video yang mau saya tonton. Memang menguras kuota juga tapi tidak sebesar kalau kita streaming. And saya pake internet bukan cuma untuk nonton YouTube. Saya juga kerja dari rumah. Kerja apa? Saya Virtual Assistant. Apaan tuh? Mau tau? Komen dibawah kalo kamu mau tau apa aja kerjaan saya sebagai VA πŸ™‚ Trus saya juga punya online shop. Upload and download file dan foto, makan kuota banget.

Kalau saya beli kuota gede terus setiap minggu, bangkrut dong 😦 Belum lagi kebutuhan internet suami dan anak remaja saya. Jadinya boros kan?

Awal-awal saya pindah, sekitar 4 bulanan, saya pernah panggil sales Bolt ke rumah buat daftar berlangganan paket unlimited nya, tapi ternyata sinyal nya ngalor ngidul. Di rumah saya cuma bisa pake Telkomsel, Indosat, SmartFren, dan 3. Tapi… sekitar 2 bulan lalu ipar saya pas nginap di rumah, iseng nyalain modem Bolt nya dan BISA!!! Sinyal nya bagus banget pula.

Harapan saya kembali berkobar-kobar kayak api Olympic. Saya langsung browsing cari sales yang bisa bantu saya pasang Bolt Home di rumah. Itu pun perjuangan banget, karena mostly mereka gak mau visit ke rumah untuk cek sinyal langsung, mereka mau nya saya langsung register online, sedangkan saya mau nya bener-bener bukti bahwa daerah rumah saya sudah tercover sinyal Bolt. Malah ada sales yang nyolot karena saya maunya dia datang ke rumah. Tapi akhirnya saya ketemu sales yang ramah dan baik hati. Dia jauh-jauh datang dari Tangerang dan bantu saya sampe persoalan saya selesai. Loh… persoalan apa?

Sebelum saya sampai ke persoalan itu, saya kasih tau dulu paket apa yang saya ambil dan dapat apa aja. Saya ambil paket Big Deal Unlimited yaitu Bolt Home Unlimited 8Mbps dan paket tv Big Deal.

big tv

Kemarin gak kepikiran mau ulas ini, jadi gak difoto-fotoin. Ini outdoor yang dipasang diatas genteng di bagian belakang rumah.

bolt home

Ini indoor nya.

Monggo liat-liat langsung paket dan program mereka disini

So… sekarang ke permasalahannya ya. Setelah si mbak cek sinyal, saya didaftarkan cuma pake KTP dan salah satu bukti bahwa kita memang tinggal di rumah itu (surat keterangan domisili kalo alamat di KTP tidak sesuai dengan alamat tempat tinggal sekarang atw pake bukti bayar PLN atw pake PBB rumah), trus saya ke ATM untuk bayar biaya bulan pertama. Kalo belum bayar, belum bisa diproses. Habis bayar, pihak Bolt akan telepon ke no hp yang kita kasih. Sekitar 2 jam setelah saya transfer, pihak Bolt telp, saya udah girang aja. Eeeeeeeeeh… mereka telp cuma mau kasih tau bahwa saya masih punya hutang Rp. 153.000!!! Pendaftaran saya gak akan diproses kalau itu belum dibayar.

OMG! Kejadian 1.5th lalu yang seharusnya sudah beres ternyata malah ribet urusannya. Padahal dulu waktu saya telp pemutusan ke call centre, saya sudah dinyatakan tidak mempunyai tanggungan biaya apapun alias lunas. Saya yang telp minta mereka ambil perangkat juga dicuekin.

Setelah sempat kesel dan ngomel-ngomel, akhirnya saya bayar aja yang Rp. 153.000 daripada harus keluar pulsa lagi buat telp + hati gondok, biar hidup pun jadi tenang gak punya hutang and it’s not even my fault 😦 Setelah bayar pake e-banking, saya info ke si mbak nya, trus disuruh tunggu telp dari Bolt lagi untuk pemasangan. Ok mbak! Senang lagi deh hati saya.

Eeeeeeeeeeh trus saya dapat telp dari teknisi Big TV katanya mau ambil perangkat. What???? Ya ampyuuuuuuun, setahun kemarin kemana aja??? Itu rumah udah gak tau ditinggalin sama siapa, masa mau bongkar2 di rumah orang??? Sabar… sabar… sabar… Gak ada gunanya juga marah-marah sendiri, kesal hati, bete, gak akan menyelesaikan masalah, internet pun gak kepasang *big sigh. Akhirnya saya janjian lah dengan yang pemilik rumah dan teknisi untuk pengambilan perangkat, kelar sudah urusannya.

Malamnya, pihak Bolt telp janjian buat besok nya pemasangan router dan antena Big TV, daaaaaaaaaan sekarang saya bebas streaming YouTube dan bisa kerja siang malam bebas download and upload file yang segede-gede gaban tanpa harus kuatir keabisan kuota. Memang setiap mau mendapatkan sesuatu, harus ada yang dikorbankan, kali ini saya korban perasaan dan uang Rp. 153.000 😦 Ya sutrahlah, ikhlasin aja πŸ™‚

2 minggu saya pakai Bolt Home, ada sedikit kendala di net nya suka ngilang-ngilang. Solusi nya gampang sih, tinggal cabut kabel power router indoor nya trus pasang lagi, biasanya udah langsung lancar. Tapi pernah dalam sehari saya sampe cabut pasang lebih dari 10x 😦 Sekarang lagi lancar-lancar jaya. Saya maklumin aja, soalnya selama seabad lebih pake internet, belum pernah ada provider yang sempurna, dan Bolt bukan pengecualian hehehehe. Terus Big TV nya dapat semua chanel selama 2 minggu doang 😦 Sekarang udah balik ke chanel basic, seusai hak saya hehehehe. Saya sadar diri kok πŸ˜€ Tapi biasanya kalo ada event tertentu, suka dibukain lagi semua chanel nya, saya sabar menunggu πŸ˜€

Lumayan panjang nih ceritanya, sekiranya ada yang mau ditanya, silahkan komen di kolom komentar. Tapi jangan lupa subscribe dulu ya πŸ™‚

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Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Thoughts, What happened?, Writings

A Journey Of Finding A Church | Christianity | Spiritual Journey

I’ve been obligated to have a religion that will be my spiritual identity, since I was born. Maybe we all are ‘obligated’ in some ways.

I have learned some religions in order to find my religious identity and it’s not easy. You got judgments and doubts and thoughts and even I was in the state of doubting myself.

But I never, ever, has doubted God. The creator of the universe and me. I am more of a spiritual person than a religious one. I find that religions are ‘more human’ than God itself. Religion makes people ‘holy’ and selfish.

Disclaimer : It’s my own opinion that is not intended to offense anybody.

But… As we live in the world of boxes, somehow we need to fit in to one of those boxes. So do I and my children.

I’ve been raised in a Catholic family and been a Catholic for so many years but then after I got married, my husband introduced me to Christianity.

Again I have some thoughts, doubts, questions, and disagreement over the religion. But I tried to oblige and observance in the same time. Not a religious material to do right?

I’ve been going to the same church for years and I didn’t feel peace. Life went on and I went along.

Then I moved to another town and found the church (the same one at the last town) and I brought myself and the kids to that church. I thought that if I go to a different ‘branch’, there’s some different, but I was wrong. It’s the same, so I still had my old feelings.

I felt that I was in a state of lying to myself and God. Like a hypocrite. Even my kids didn’t want to go to their Sunday School. Coz they’re feeling the same as I felt. Some uncomfortable feelings.

For some times, we stopped going to church. I felt like I was a bad mom, not fulfilling my job in giving my kid’s soul needs. I want my children to have a consciousness of having God. The One that control the universe. The One that giving them mercy and love. The One that over power the whole world.

Then one day, my prayers was answered. A friend of my mom came visiting one day and the conversation was led to me not going to church and when she goes. So she informed me where the church is and the time of Sunday service.

Sunday came. I was driving my car and literally in a junction. Turn right to the old church or turn left to the new church. I was debating with myself and finally turn my wheel to the left. As I was driving, I already felt some hope but again debating whether I was to send the kids straight to the Sunday School classes or letting them in the service with me.

I was at the church, parking my car, walking in, and the classes was already began. I asked the kids (hoping) if they wanted to go to the classes. And they went in without any fuss. They were just saying bye and went in. It was a relief. They didn’t know anybody coz we’re new in town and it’s our first time in the church.

I went up to the service, found myself a seat, and joined in. The church isn’t as big as my old one was. The people is more humble and I felt welcomed. Unlike the rich people in my old church, that were not seemed aware of each others, even careless. Being alone and don’t feel belong to is not the feeling we’re supposed to be getting from a church. But here, in this new church, on my first time, I already felt like a family.

And more to my surprise, the focus of the church was not getting as much money as possible (which is the focus of the old church) but getting as much souls (to believes in Jesus as saviour) as possible. I felt rejoice and yes they’re getting a new soul. Mine and my kid’s.

Now, we don’t skip church unless one of us were sick. The kids were not as lazy as they were. Before, they were even cried if I asked them to go to church for Sunday School. Now, they got up voluntarily and always share good stories of what they learned from Sunday classes.

The kids are now joining the music ministry classes. Abe (my oldest, 12yo) is joining drum class and Al (my youngest, 9yo) is joining keyboard class. For FREE!!! At my old church everything was monetized, including giving our self to serve God, we need to pay.

I thank God for sending me someone who informed me of this church. I thank God for giving me a second chance to find Him. I thank God for letting my children to serve Him. I thank God that I am more in love with Him through this church.

The pastor of this church is always emphasizing on getting more souls not in a way of dragging them from other church to go into this church. He is always saying that we need to save new souls so more people knows and believes on Jesus Christ. He has strong disagreement on moving other Christians from one church to another church.

Well, I disagree with him. I know for myself that not every Christian that are already in a church have their souls on God. I know for sure that not every Christian goes to church every Sunday out of their faith on Jesus. Coz I know, I’ve been going just wanted to fit in the box. So that I have a religion identity.

The church is supposed to change our old self into our new that believes and surrender only to Jesus Christ, reflecting Jesus in our everyday life. And if after so many years, one don’t feel any will power to change their old self, to be more like Jesus rather than the world. Then I say, find another church coz they obviously needs to be saved, like I am saved.

Posted in Adulting, Daily Prompt, How To, Thoughts, What happened?

How To Survive Mental Sickness

I have heard people decided to took their own life in the past 6 months. From a celebrity to recently a young mom who jumped from 10th floor early in the morning, leaving her 8 months old baby and a confused husband.

When I google the word ‘ibu muda bunuh diri’ meaning ‘young mom suicide’, I found a very sad news that there are many others from different ages and backgrounds. So many that it breaks my heart that I cried.

I am deeply sorry for what they’ve been through. I know what they felt. I know a suicidal feeling. The urge of killing yourself. The thought that death is the only way out. The loneliness. The sickness. The pain. ‘Normal’ people couldn’t understand how we feels. It’s exclusive for us who have mental sickness.

Is it stress? Depression? We all have stress, depression, life is not all rainbow and unicorn, we don’t even think of ending our lives. Yes, it is easier said than done. For us with mental sickness, what seems small to you is like a giant crushing our whole world. What is normal to you is extraordinary for us.

When you don’t meet certain expectations, you have the spirit to move on, start over again. We don’t. When we don’t find things as we expect them to be, we started to feel suffocated, drowned in our disappointments. Unable to see any good side of any of whatever it is. We’ll be stuck in our zone. Some of us got lucky and got out from the zone, some of us don’t survive the zone.

I don’t talk about surveys or studies about suicidal mothers, but I’m just gonna share what I’ve been through. That I know how it feels. And I’m still trying to survive.

I had the 1st suicidal thought when I was at elementary school, then at high school, then at college, then once when I’ve had my 1st baby. I’m still alive though, am I cured?

I don’t think mental sickness has cures. You can get therapy after therapy with pills (so many pills) that are intended to bring you to the stage of calmness and to make you sleep (a lot of sleeps). Does it help? Yes, for short period of time. What’s next? More therapy and more pills.

Did I ever go to a psychiatrist? I did. Did it help? Yes, for short period of time. Then what? I stopped seeing him and I therapy myself. Meaning? I self taught myself to ease my mental sickness.

This are some tips for you that I find it works for me:

1.Go Away!

I decided to go far away from my family. I was living with my aunt and her family, occasionally visit my mom. Years after years, I’ve tried to overcome my issues, but it didn’t work. When I was in college, I found myself worsen. Then I had the urge to go away from them, from the family who suffocated me. Somewhere far away, away from their reach.

Once I had the thought of leaving, it’s like the urge to kill myself never came to visit. My focus had shifted. Then I planned my leave. I went to other island, still part of Indonesia, alone, no friends nor family. I was an alien deserted in a land of strangers.

Almost got sold to a brothel house, got robbed, met some friends, met some love, met some enemies, had the live of my life. I had a new life.

2. Change your focus

As I mentioned above, when I changed my focus into something else, the urge of killing myself was gone (or at least were sleeping).

When you’re in a new environment you have new perspectives, new experiences, new challenges, new spirit, new life. And you’ll find yourself excited again, live again, you become new you.

I was busy surviving in the island, busy finding a job, busy applying to a job, busy living my new life.

3. Plan

I didn’t know that I have to plan my life in order to have a healthy mindset. Planning means, I need to know what I’m doing with this life I have. Not just ‘go with the flow’ mindset which will make my life jumbled up in a mess again. When you have mental sickness, you don’t wanna go near any kind of mess.

I did a lot of thinking about what I want in my life. I wrote it down, made my plans, and I executed them, one by one. Small steps along the way.

And you know what? I achieved every single thing I wanted. I got the job that I dreamed of since I was a little girl. I got to do what I like to do, made money over my talent, which is singing.

Like I said, I had a new life. I lived a new world.

4. Enjoy the process

Was I had a beautiful rainbow life? Of course not, things happened. Bad things happened. But I was already in a stage of developing myself into a new me, and I like the new me. For the first time in my life, I have the confident to live a life as me.

Some people still didn’t like me, didn’t find me beautiful, didn’t like my voice, didn’t like what I did, just like it was (my sick old self). But the different was, I was already finding myself, knowing myself, acknowledge myself, loving myself. And I was so selfish that I want to keep the new me that I didn’t find any of those issues bothered me. Not at all.

I enjoyed every single process of my new life.

5. Empty out the negative

Make room for good things. Don’t let negativity sour your life again. Give no place to negativity. Don’t hang around people feeding you the negativity. Let go what didn’t work out. Don’t associate with the wrong people.

I resigned from my jobs when I found that it was not a healthy environment for me anymore. I quit 4 jobs when I finally got married and back in Jakarta. I was able to measure myself on how much I could take. I made the decision to stay away from negativity as much as I can.

Surround yourself with positive people. You need good real friends/partner/spouse so that you can share and tell them freely what’s bothering you. A free judgmental people who can give you all the support you need and all ears to everything you want to share with them.

6. Peace with yourself

Give yourself a break. Don’t go your life being against yourself. Your time is too valuable to sit around dwelling on your flaws & lackness. There will be time of struggle, pressure, difficulties. Don’t get discouraged. That’s not permanent.

Just like you thought you were stuck in the zone, but you did get out and survive right? This too shall pass.

7. Everyday find a reason to laugh

I love music. My all time favorite activities are singing and dancing. So I did. I was lucky to have the opportunity to work in a hotel and as a Sales & Marketing, I got the freedom to have an entertainment sessions with my guests. I went to a club, a pub, a discotheque, and went karaoke with my friends (many many times).

I had a blast every time I spent time singing and dancing. I had a good laugh talking with my guests and share jokes with my friends. No matter what, every single day, find a reason to laugh. When I wasn’t going out, I spent my time in my room watching Friends.

They’re my go to series whenever I was alone. If you haven’t watched them, go find the CD, you can thank me later πŸ˜€

8. Find your guidance

Whether it’s your religion or your belief. Find a guidance that can walk you through the journey of your self development.

I’m a Christian. I read bible or devotion or sermon videos that you can search online. Dedicate a time for you to have a quite moment and be grateful. Build your faith that you don’t easily got swayed by the wind of self destruction.

9. Accept who you are

“I have mental sickness and I’m aware of it”. Once you accept who you are, you get the power to control you. You recognized yourself and can have some sort of clear thinking on what you have to do or how to react on any circumstances you are in.

Sometimes the problem of not understanding what you want in life is the denial. You know that you need to let go of the past, yet you’re still clinging on it coz you feel that it doesn’t even bother you anymore yet you’re still blaming yourself for what happened in the past.

10. Love yourself

Go buy that foundation you want coz you want to have a flawless make up. Sleep in and get up at noon coz you deserve it after a long hour at work. Make efforts to love yourself.

Nothing is more rewarding than to self fulfilled yourself so you can feel good about yourself then you can fall in love with yourself and when you love yourself, death is not so tempting anymore coz you love you and you love your life.

Those are what I did (do) to help myself out of the ‘killing myself zone’. I hope it can help you realized that you’re not in this alone. Nobody is alone in this world. Not even you. And this too shall pass. Nothing in this world is permanent, not even us.

We only have one life to live. That life is given by God, our Creator. Only He has the right to give and take our lives. Be patient. Do your best while you’re still alive in this world even sometimes it sucks, but don’t rush your death. It will come to you eventually.

See things from a different angle. Adjust your sits so you can get the best view.

Look around. Be empathetic. Don’t ignore the signs. Share your pain and success. You might save a life.

Posted in Adulting, Daily Prompt, Thoughts, What happened?

What I Learned In 2017 – Life Is A Lesson

I was lying on my bed trying to sleep at 2am and not succeeded. My brain was going merry go round on me. I was thinking on how my life changed so much in just a year. So many things happened and give me the shock of my life, even some of them are not the first. But really, life is a lesson.

So, why not share those lessons with you, so I can get to clarify my thoughts and you can get some lessons from mine. Let’s get started.

The lessons I learned are:

1.Nothing is permanent

Things shift in a blink of an eye. One moment you were traveling without thinking of how much you spend, another moment you count every cents you have to serve food on the table just for a day. But if things can go down, things can go up too. So, if you’re having a hard time, be brave and face the days LIKE A BOSS. Do whatever you can do to survive and say “This too shall pass”.

2.Waste no time weeping

What can you get from weeping the whole time you’re in the mud? I let myself drowned in disappointment and anger and sadness and spent my time counting on my lack. That I actually did nothing to better my circumstances and that was such a waste of time. You stepped on the mud? Shake it off and keep walking.

3.Appreciate people

You don’t know what they’ve been through or going through, so have more empathy. Maybe you’re living in abundance right now that you look down on people, can’t see why that person can’t do this or that and you start making comments (or even judge). Please remember, bad situation can happen to anybody, even you. So if you want to sow your seeds, start seeding good so you get to sow good.

4.Money is manageable

We have to take control of our finance. Stop ignoring money. I (we) was ignorance about our finance and just go with what was. I didn’t know how much we have and how much we spend. Money comes money goes. It was unhealthy and really put us in jeopardy.

5.Credit card is Satan

It will lure you to spend what you don’t earn and making you delusional. It gives you things that you don’t deserve (yet). Yes, you enjoy buying things and pay as you like, but you become its slave. I’m putting a stop to it and only pay cash. If I don’t have the money, that means no buy.

6.Jump on opportunity

I have no experience in what I am doing right now, but I have to be bold and showed up. When opportunity came, I jumped on it, learn as I go, and here I am making money out of inexperience. I met new people, learned new skills, and making ideas into results. Never say that you can’t. YOU CAN! As long as you have the attitude, you can do whatever you want to do. Be whatever you want to be. Stop making excuses, JUST DO IT!

7.There’s always good in everything

I can tell you, I am not in a good position to say that I’m okay (still). But I can tell you, that in my ‘not okay’ situation, I find miracle. Miracle do happens. You just need to open yourself and willing to twist your angle of seeing things, you will find yourself amazed on what goodness that has happened in your life.

8.SAVE!

I couldn’t tell you how much saving money is IMPORTANT. I am the right person who can tell you that saving your money could save your life. 13 years of marriage and we always fall into the same hell, money problem. I am 100% sure that if we would’ve saved our money, we wouldn’t be busy hating each other. I am not making the same mistake again. I need to be smarter and wiser towards money.

9.You are your best friend

I come to my realization that I am is my best friend. I’m not saying that I don’t need friends nor they mean nothing to me. But I learned that I am the one who can make things happen. If I want something, I need to do something about it. I am the one who can make the choices coz my friends are not me. They don’t live my life as I don’t live theirs. I know what I’m capable of, I understand my feelings, I know what I’m going through. My life is depends on me.

10.Stay away from negative people

For me, negative people are the people who doesn’t make me feel good. They don’t lift up my spirit. They don’t give me motivation. They don’t inspire me. I need to be strong (especially now) and I need all the encouragement I could have. If you make me feel bad about myself and or making me think that I’m such a loser, you’re out.

11.Don’t wait

Don’t wait for things to get better then you start on going to church, for example. Don’t wait on the ‘right’ job offers to start earning when you are actually need an earning (survival mode). You should actually do something to be something. Nothing could ever happen to you if you just sit around and wait for things happen to you (unless a sore bottom for sitting too long). Get up and start doing!

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12.You are what you think

Your mind determine who you are. Your thinking create your attitude. Think negative then your attitude is negative. Be sure that you only think of good great bold things so you can be good great and bold. It is all in the mind.

13.Grow up

You don’t get any younger. You don’t get to stop the time. You have no choice but to grow old. But getting older is not enough. You need to grow up. Grown up people don’t do the same mistakes. Grown up people don’t act like a child. Grown up people knows what’s good and bad, what’s right and wrong. It is not easy to grow up. Unless you can stay a kid forever, you need to knock some sense and start to grow up.

14.More effort

It’s no secret that the more effort you do, the bigger outcome you get. I was slacking on my blogging so I lost my readers. I do less posts on Instagram, I lost my followers. There’s no such thing as good luck. There’s only hard work with great results, or no work with no result. Put more effort on the things that you want to succeed on. You will see that your hard work will paid off.

15.Set your goals

I was taking it lightly. Taking my life to go as it flows. But I lack passion in anything I tried to do. Setting your goals and make a deadline on them, will actually set your mind in achieving each and every one of them. Deadline make you push yourself. Make a vision board if you’re a visual person like me. You seeing those goals everyday will get yourself prepared and ready to tackle everything. Nothing will come between you and your goals.

16.Stay positive

Surround yourself with positive people. I actually feel a lot better after church. I’m not even that religious, but I do feel positive after church. I feel humble and grateful for what I have. If I skip church, I will become a grouchy old lady, complaining about almost everything. So, find your vibes, stay with your positive tribes, do what makes you feel positive. Join a community that can actually build your positive life.

17. Love myself more

I was too focus on pleasing everybody that I forgot about myself. I was trying to fulfill everybody’s needs that I ignore my needs. I became unhappy. This is definitely still a struggle that I need to work on. I need to fulfill my needs first in order to fulfill others. I need to love myself first before I love others. I need to treat myself better. I need to stop expecting others to completes me. I am what I need.

Those are my 17 lessons that I learned in 2017. Do you relate to any of mine? I need to accept and learn from the past so I can do better next year. You should too. It will make you feel more prepared and more clear on what you’re trying to aim in 2018.

Thank you for stopping by. Leave a like and comment below on what lessons you have learned in 2017. We could always learn from each other.

Posted in Adulting, Budgeting, Challenge, Daily Prompt, Hacks, How To, Thoughts, What happened?, What I Do

DAY 2 – Food Budget ChallengeΒ 

DAY 2 – 13 November 2017

It is now day 2 and I’m shopping. I went to wet market to buy my fish and chicken. 

3kg of chicken for IDR98K – $7.23 and 3 kg of fish for IDR78K – $5.75

Not gonna show you what’s inside though. They’re pretty gross 😷

I usually buy my produce from a street shop near the kid’s school but today I went with my guts to buy at the wet market. 

And I was making a good decision coz I only paid IDR63K – $4.65 for all of those produce. If I bought from the street shop, I know I would’ve spent at least $10. Crazy what this hard situation teach you. It teaches you to go beyond your comfort zone. To push you to do the extraordinary. 

I know that I don’t have anymore budget for fruit but I have to stock on fruits coz my kids need fruits. So I bought a papaya for IDR15K – $1.11.

And my rice box is empty πŸ˜₯ I thought I could’ve more money to spend on something else but then I need to stock on rice. Indonesian don’t eat without rice. So ya, I bought 10kg of rice and I have an amazing aunt that give me an extra 10kg for free. Thank you aunty… God bless you πŸ˜‡

10kg will feed us for about a week and thanks to aunty we will have enough supply for about 2 weeks ✌ And the rice will stretch for more days coz my cousin just gave us dog food. My dog also eat rice but since now we have dog food. We will have enough supply of rice 😁. I’m so grateful for families that always support and help me in hard times. 

Today I fry fish and make spinach soup with corn.

I only have enough fish for hub and the kids. I don’t normally eat the fish or the chicken. If I’m lucky, the kids will have some leftovers for me. They usually still have something left for me to eat. Or I’ll just eat rice and whatever veggies I cook that day. 

Well… This is for today. We’ll see what I cook tomorrow. I’m thinking of buying eggs with the money left in the budget. 

Please hit the ‘follow’ button if you haven’t already so you don’t miss my journey. And follow my Instagram account @dessysdays for more updates. 

Posted in Adulting, Daily Prompt, Thoughts, What happened?

Is extended warranty really worthed?

Almost every electronic that I own bought from an Electronic Solution or Electronic City. Pricing is a little higher than a small electronic shop, outside the mall, I mean like the shop we can find across the street. But I find it comfortable to buy from the mall, safer if I should say. 

I don’t feel like they’re going to cheat on me. I know where to go when I have something to ask or if anything wrong with my purchase. I’m pretty sure I got the electronic from the original company or factory. 

I know that I could’ve bought some randomly ‘failed’ products but again, I know where to go when that happen. But when you purchase from the street shop, I know they’re not gonna care and just pingpong us here and there. 

And more amazing things from buying it at the mall is they have extended warranty. It’s not a must from them. They’ll offer us everything we purchase from them. The amount is dependingon your purchase. But it’s pretty cheap. It’s like IDR400k for 4 years of extended warranty. Amazing. And I always buy the extended warranty.  Always.

And now this happens to us. 

We bought 3 Sharp Plasmacluster AC from a street shop coz my hub wanted to find a cheaper price. We bought on July 2016 and since our new house wasn’t ready yet, we installed them on December 2016. 

Now it’s November 2017 and one AC in the boy’s room is screwed. I think it got struck by a lightening. It was one stormy day and my youngest saw a weird lights on the AC. I tried to plugged out the cable and plugged in again, not working. 

So hub called the shop and said that their guy is going to look at it. He was hoping that the warranty is effective on December, the month that we installed it. But it doesn’t work that way. The warranty is effective on the date of purchase. So we’re out of warranty. Dang. 

Today the technician came and I have to pay more than IDR600k to get it fixed. Dang. Wish that we bought it from the mall and we won’t have this headache. 

So is extended warranty worthed? ABSOLUTELY.  

I have this good experience on the extended warranty. I bought a Toshiba TV from Electronic Solution and it was also struck by a lightening. I am not lightening bff. My TV is still broken after so many times got fixed. It’s a whole different story. But I don’t have to pay a dime for it to get fixed coz I paid for 4 years extended warranty. 

This AC. I have to wait for an extra money to get it fixed. Do you find it weird that whenever you’re broke there’s always something broken needs to be fixed? I find it depressing though. Well… Gotta keep the spirit high. 

Lesson learned. Always buy electronics from the mall and always buy the extended warranty. Always. 

Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Thoughts, What happened?

It’s rooting!

I planted the garlic on 22 August, watering it everyday, nothing. Waited for so long, started to doubt that it’ll work out.

Mom and hubby has been discrediting me (again). But I just keep watering it. I planted the garlic and cover it with soil, about 2cm, and they said I was doing it wrong.

For almost a month, they keep saying that I was wrong. I don’t know what’s going on in there, but I keep waiting, watering it, waiting, see nothing but weeds.

Then this morning, I’m sitting in my dining table, having my coffee, watching YouTube while waiting for my laundry to be done, I saw a hint of hope. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *angels singing.

It was hidden behind a weed, I got a closer look, and it’s garlic!!! I saw one then I saw another next to it. I planted 6 in total. The revelation!

You know, I told you earlier, gardening can really really teach you life. Our lives should have hopes.

We don’t really see any changes, don’t really know what’s going on, don’t understand God’s plan, but as long as we have faith, one day, one fine day… God will fulfill His promises.

Everything is well planned. God is lining up the right people for you, organizing teenie bitty details, mapping out the route. All you have to do is have faith, keep doing the right thing, prepare for the revelation.

It’s important to prepare yourself. The sooner you’re prep, the sooner God granted you His gift. I can’t say enough of how crucial preparation is.

You can’t visibly see the changes, but it’s rooting. It’s rooting and you’ll harvest.

Posted in Daily Prompt, Parenting, Thoughts, What happened?

Numb

I’ve been dealing with the struggles inside my heart and my brain.

After so long being fatherless, months ago, he showed up. Well, we haven’t met in person, but he showed up to my mom. She did call me to meet up with him, but I refused. Not for holding a grudge against him, but I didn’t feel the necessity of meeting him. Not after all this time. And my brain immediately sense something was wrong.

He and Mom divorced looooooooong time ago when I was 2yo. Mom still took me to see him once in a while, even was staying near his house (he was living with his new wife and children). Maybe mom was thinking that it’s better for me to still be near my father. But being so closed to his house didn’t make any intimacy.

I have very little memories of my childhood. Very little. It’s like cuts here and there. But I do remember, till now, the part where I was having a dengue. My mom found me bleeding on the bed in the middle of the night. Found some blood in the bathroom (I puked blood). I bled through my nose, ears, mouth, and I puked blood.

I remember Mom carried me across the street, knocked his front door, asked him to help her took me to hospital. She handed me to him. He carried me and we’re waiting for some kind of transportation to get to me to hospital. Then I puked blood again on his jacket. He looked disgusted. Not worried. Disgusted. He handed me to mom and said he’ll get home and asked my mom to take me to hospital by herself.

Mom panicked. Now that I have my own children, I understand her feeling. She wouldn’t asked for his help if she’s stronger enough to face the possibilities of what would’ve happened to me. I could only imagine of her thinking that she could be dealing with a dead daughter in the next 5 minutes. She would want someone to be by her side when it happened. She chosen my father. Yet, he refused.

Long story short, I was in hospital for weeks and never once he came to visit me. Not as I remember. Thank God, mom didn’t have to deal with funeral. And life goes on. She still took me to see him once in a while. We still met at some family (his side) occasions.

In all those times we met, never once he mentioned about bringing me into his life. We were just having casual conversation, awkwardly. Saying hi and bye in such short amount of time. Never once that we had any father daughter moments. Never.

And now, he wanted to enter my life. Messaging me and never once I replied. From saying dreamy words about father and daughter relationship, his love for me, then blaming mom for separating me and him, saying that it’s not his idea for a divorce, then cursing mom, cursing me, blessing me, cursing my children, cursing my family, blessing my children, and on and on and on.

He kept saying that I misjudged him for being a miserable man begging me to take him. That he’s not asking any favors from me, he just wants to see me and being a part of my family, being a grandfather to my children. But I know better. I don’t judge him. But I know better.

Then… The revelation!

He messaged me that he is homeless now. No longer staying with his (I lost count) wife and children, coz they threw him out. Still I don’t give any response. He started cursing me again. No surprise. Not once he says sorry for what he did to me. Not once he feels sorry for not being there in my life. Not once. He kept blaming others. Blaming me for his miserable life.

What did I do wrong? I wasn’t even in his life, what wrong could I do to him? Financially, he wasn’t helping at all. Yes he was obligated to support me, he was a police officer, so there are rules for it. But it was tiny support. If my mom didn’t work hard, we would barely have food, let alone paying for my school tuitions, and college.

So yeah… I was fatherless. Am still fatherless.

Now he’s screaming to me that he’s my FATHER. That without him, I wouldn’t have even exist in this world. Oh wow! How a man can easily call himself a father over sperms. Pardon my language.

Being a mother myself, teach me what the word MOTHER means. It’s not only about the womb that carries a baby, not only about giving birth, not only about nauseousness of the pregnancy, not only about the boobs to breastfeed your babies. It’s about raising them. It’s all about the love and sacrifices for your children. It’s about putting yourself last. It’s no longer about you, it’s all about the children. Everything else comes last.

Don’t I forgive him? I do. I don’t have any particular hate feelings for him. I don’t think about payback. I pity him for being in this situation. I don’t keep a grudge against him. I just don’t have the feeling. The daughter feelings. The love. I feel numb for him.

When you don’t feel a thing, how can you response?

I know that God ask us to love our enemies.

But how I love him when he’s not an enemy? He’s no one. Well, other than the sperm part. He’s nobody.

But I don’t try to hurt him by not responding. I do pray for him. Not a specific pray, but I pray for the best. I do bless him by not cursing him. You can say I don’t do what I preach. But do so, what pleases you, I won’t judge you.

I don’t blame him for leaving me fatherless. Yes, it shaped my mentality out off course. I did make some stupid decisions and foolish mistakes. But who doesn’t? Even if you have a father or not, children makes mistakes. So, I don’t blame him.

Yes, it shaped my character. But who I am now is not the product of perfection nor brokenness. Who I am is my responsibility. I wouldn’t blame my parents for my misbehave and crimes. I’m a product of my choices. I take all responsibilities over my life. My good and bad. My mistakes and achievements. I am who I choose to be.

Of course as a parent, I have the responsibility to take care of my children. To take them to the right path. To give what’s best for them. But I don’t control their life. Once they become an adult, it’s their life. They’re choices.

The part of my fatherless life, it’s his choice.

Would I wanted it a different way? I don’t know. It’s been done. We’ll see what the future will brings. I don’t control the universe.

Posted in Daily Prompt, Thoughts, What happened?

My First 50!

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

This could be tiny for you, but to me… It HUGE!!!

Yes numbers is not my main goal for my blogging, but still… Seeing those numbers getting higher each times, brings out the fire in me.

I do sometimes breaking my rules of consistency by not posting every day, but I don’t want blogging become a burden. I want it as original and as authentic as me sharing my life with you.

I want it to be as useful and give values to my readers and followers. I don’t want to copy paste someone else’s blog just for numbers.

It is who I am… Presented to you my first 50 😘 Thank you πŸ’ž

Posted in Daily Prompt, Day In The Life, How To, Thoughts, What happened?

A Bummer!

Soooooooooo…

I just spent more than IDR100k to buy my domain with GoDaddy. Soooooo excited that I finally have the courage (and money) to buy a domain for my blog. Felt like I finally grow up. Finally making the commitment.

Then…

When I tried to map out my domain to WordPress, I need to pay more, this I just found out. I thought I only need to pay for the domain. End of story.

But…

It turns out, on 2017, I can’t just pay for mapping out my domain to WordPress for $13 (which I wasn’t prepared for), I need to upgrade to premium for $99 (whaaaaaaaaat???).

Gosh! What a bummer!

If I have the money, it’s a no brainer. I love writing and I love my blog. Its my baby. But, it seems that I can’t fund college for my baby right now, need more time.

What do I need to do next?

I can pay $99 (IDR1.3m) for a year with WordPress or I can pay GoDaddy to manage my hosting in WordPress for IDR1.8m ($135) for 3 years. As you can see, GoDaddy is way cheaper.

Patience…

Yes, I’ll be patience. I’ll keep nurturing my baby with what I have for now. Gotta always do best with what you have right?