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Be a model!

The world doesn’t need more geniuses.

The world needs more kindness.

The world doesn’t need more negativity.

The world needs more love.

My kids are smart. They adapt well. Grades are good. Yes, they sometimes talk back out of their knowledge over things that I probably knew little about, but it was really not in a rude way. And they sometimes are not (in a way) ideal to other parents, but who doesn’t? Coz each parents are having their own way of parenting and I am too.

I am a mom who care more on building their characters over grades. If they’re having good grades, I take it as a bonus. I do believe that love and kindness will take them rise high up there. Coz even in the self-centred world we are in, people will always always look up to someone who is kind and loving.

Mother Teresa, Oprah, Gandhi, etc are the ones we look up to for years over generations. Their stories don’t die. Time doesn’t kill their characters. And that’s what matters the most.

I expect my boys to understand their responsibilities and have more care about their surroundings. I am teaching them disciplines, time management, among other things that will help them in their adulthood coz being an adult don’t always means having more number in your age. Adulthood means a lot more than just birthdays.

I can’t possibly get to the results I am aiming to without being their role model coz there’s no way they can be ‘right’ without me being ‘right’ first. Example means the world for children.

I can’t expect them to respect a clean house without me giving them example that if you want a clean organized house, you need move your ass off the sofa and start cleaning and putting all the stuff back into their homes once you finish using them. If I’m carelessly leaving used cotton buds all over the house and not throwing them in the trash bins, I don’t get mad to the kids for doing the same.

If I expect the kids to get up in the morning and do their chores, I need to do it first so they can see that discipline need sacrifices like getting up early. I don’t wake up at 1pm and start yelling to the kids for not doing their chores coz getting up to a wrecked dirty house is annoying. Well hello… Look at yourself before you decide to scream at other people’s face!

You can be so proud of how smart you are. How easy you can solve mathematical formulas. How much (you think) you’ve done for the company you work for. How you are so right about anything and everything that you always think little of other’s opinions. How you live a great life for having the characters, principles, and the disciplines you are now. But it was all just you living in your perfect bubble self-centred life coz when you don’t give examples, you are just a bunch of craps.

I don’t want my kids to live in craps so I don’t give them examples of being one.

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Insecurity | Dessy’s Days

I just saw an episode of The Good Doctor and it hit me. There’s this woman at the age of 50s who had so many transplants in her body to make her feel pretty and wanted again, just like before she was young with no kids.

It finally getting back on her that her transplants are infected and needed to be removed. All of them. It’s said about 6 transplants all over her body including her face. The doctors needed to move fast or she’ll die.

Knowing that the transplants will caused her life, she refused the procedures. She said that since she had kids, her life was miserable, caused by the depression of feeling insecure. Thought that she had lost her beauty coz she felt tired from taking care of the house, the kids, and her husband, no time to take care of herself. She was feeling unwanted and under appreciated.

But after she had her 1st transplant, everything seemed better. Her husband started to looked at her again. So wanting more love, she added more transplants. Now she feels that without her transplants, she’s back to being nobody again. To being invisible again.

I totally get her.

After some times, my insecurities has gotten worst. I don’t even want to take selfie again. I tried so many times and deleted so many photos I took on myself. I don’t look good anymore. Everytime I look at the pictures I just took, all I see are flaws. Nothing looks good. No pose looks good. No angle is the good angle.

That’s why my Instagram account has very limited picture of myself. I’m hiding myself behind the image I try to create on Instagram and my blog. And I think, I’m doing good hiding.

But today, I landed on some Instagram accounts that has so many pictures of themselves and they are all looking good. Look good doesn’t always mean perfect pose and pretty face. I see sparkles on each of their pictures. I see confident. I see spirits. I see beauty. How about me? I feel left behind. I don’t have what they have.

I wanna be like them. I wanna have what they all have. I wanna feel alive again. I wanna be me again.

So many things happen and I feel overwhelmed. But I need this getting myself together thing. I need to step up my game to find what’s lost.

Can anybody relate? What do you do to find yourself again? To be confident again. Leave a comment below and let’s connect.

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How To Quit


Easier said than done right?

I am very conscious of what’s wrong and what’s right for me. I am fully aware and mature enough to admit that I hang on too long on something that is a wrong thing to do. But I’m hanging on to those wrongs coz quitting just too terrifying and scary. I’m terrified on the outcome and scared on what would’ve happened.

I’m walking in the dark knowing that I’m holding on a tree full of torns and it cuts. The stronger I held it the more pain I feel. Everybody encourages me to keep holding on the torns and keep bleeding and if I quit, I’ll look like a looser, a quitter. Often times, quitting resemblance losing. Negative word.

I love to clean. I like clean, non cluttered, neat place. But the one thing I can’t clean is my life. I hold on to the wrong things and I can’t get rid of those wrongs. Do you ever feel that you have too much clutter in your life you need to get rid of but it’s never a success?

Look around you, friends that doesn’t give you any positive feelings, the wrong partner, the wrong job, the wrong business. You are so stuck with the wrongs yet everybody is asking to hold on. Doesn’t it make you feel lost again? What is right and what is wrong?

I, one day asked a friend of mine that had a divorced and remarried. I asked her what made her filed a divorce? She told me bla bla bla… Conclusion : it was the best thing to do (according to her). Then I asked her, about her daughter, she said her daughter feels happier than before coz she doesn’t have to listen to her parents fight. That makes sense right? Everybody happy.

Now I asked her about her new husband. What made her take a decision to be married again. Isn’t she scared that it might end up like the 1st marriage? She told me bla bla bla… Conclusion: he’s the best that can happen to her right now (according to her). Then I asked her about her daughter. She said, her daughter is having the best dad she ever have. That makes sense again. Everybody happy.

The irony is…

I told her about some issues I’m having and she told me to hold on!!! What the…???

What happen with bla bla bla and the happy ending that she’s having? This is when my brain went blur.

What’s wrong with you people? Why the double standard? It’s okay for you to let go and not for me? It’s okay for you to have second chance but not for me? What?

And it happens a lot. I talked to some people and their answer is (shockingly) the same. Why?

I know why. It’s not because they regret their decision (coz they are happy now!), with letting go the wrong and letting in the right. It’s because they don’t want to take the blame. They don’t want to say something to encourage you to let go coz they’re afraid that one day you guys were catching up and you’re living even more miserable than you were before or the other way around.

Quitting is scary. It’s terrifying. You can tell some strangers to quit doing what they think is wrong coz you won’t have to see them again. You don’t have to face the possibility of your advice to quit, caused them went into the gutter. Of course it will make you feel good if you know that they’re doing much better after letting go, but what if it’s not?


The best I can say to quit doing the wrongs is listen to your heart. Pray on it. Pray hard on it. Ask around but don’t let their opinions become your decision.

YOU are living your life. YOU are the one feeling the pain. YOU are the one feeling the joy. It is YOUR life. YOU make the decision.

And don’t forget… Be an adult!

Once you decide. Take responsibility. Own your action.

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How are you all?

Thank you for stopping by for you who are new here and welcome back to you my blog family πŸ™‚

How’s new year so far?

I’m so grateful that you’re visiting my blog and I’m happy to announce that “I moved house!!!”

Yes! I am now moved from to HERE!

I would like to welcome you into my new house coz I post new contents there… Very good contents that I’m sure that will motivate and inspire you more in the new year 2018.

Links to my new posts:

Tourist Photo iPhone Layout

10 Things To Do Before 2018


25 New Year Resolutions for 2018

Journal on Desk Blog Graphic

What I Learned In 2017 – Life Is A Lesson

Banana Bread Pudding Recipe

Banana Bread Pudding Recipe

My Vacation

Word Of The Year 2018 – RENEW

Don't pack up your camera until you've left the location.

15 Favorite YouTube Channels

I won’t be posting new contents here anymore, so please visit and subscribe to my new website.

Thank you so much for your kind love and attention, I appreciate every single one of you, and would love to have you there πŸ™‚

New Year. New Goals. New House. New Excitements.



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November Challenge – IDR400K food budget for a family of 5Β 

This is how much I have to work on for food this month until the next paycheck (God knows when). IDR400k ($30) for a family of 5. 

Wanna follow my ‘magical’ journey? 

And yes, I didn’t buy any food from the 1st of November. We just eat what we have left in the fridge and today we only have 2 eggs left. 

What do I provide my family with this little money? 

Follow me on Instagram and hit the ‘follow’ button if you haven’t already. 

Jeez… I even get excited with this (weirdo) and my brain is like a roller coaster trying to figure this out. My head hurts from catching a cold, got my pill, and can’t even sleep coz my brain refuse to stop rolling. Oh… And I have no budget left for households items πŸ˜₯

Will I stay with the IDR400K budget or I’ll have extra money coming in? God knows. 

Shall we start? 

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Stop screwing your life!

I can’t tolerate people who are so stubborn in screwing their life. I just can’t. 

I wanted to yell at their faces “Grow Up!!!” 

Grown up people knows how to act like one. They know that life is not gonna wait for them to have ‘the motivation’ so they can have a life. 

To live is not only about breathing. Please! 

What do you want in life? To be a successful entrepreneurs? To be a writer? To be a singer? To travel the world? You can be whatever you want to be as long as you stop screwing with your life. 

Sleeping in until noon is screwing. Watching YouTube all day is screwing. Staying up all night doing bullshits is screwing. On social media all day is screwing. Sitting on your couch all day is screwing. Pitying yourself for not being skillful enough to do something actually useful for you is screwing. Thinking that everybody is at fault for your failure is screwing. Waiting for someone to help you get your life is screwing. I can go on and on for pages. 

Knock it off! Your life is what you decide to DO! DO is the keyword here. Do something. Make something. Be something. 

You can find millions of other people actually achieved their goals and dreams. ONLINE. You have the phone, the internet, find them, learn from them. Make use to what you have to make you achieve yours. 

Doing something that you don’t want to do is not easy. You have to FORCE yourself to do it. But if you want to be what you wanted, force yourself to do it. I can’t say enough. 

My kids won’t stop playing games unless I force them to stop. I need to prep my kids to school and I force myself to get up at 4.30am every day. I hate ironing, but I force myself coz my kids need their uniforms. 

We can not function what we’re supposedly do if we don’t force ourselves. Control yourself in a way that you make yourself do what you need to do. Coz it’s easy to do what you like rather than what you need to. 

You like chocolate but you can’t have them coz you have to control your sugar. You like to go to the movies every weekend but you can’t coz you don’t have a budget for it. Self control is what grownups do. 

Stop screwing your life! Grow up! 

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WITL #18 – Drum Audition

Sunday, 30 April 2017

I’m gonna try to share our outfit of the day, church edition, every Sunday. Starting today 😁

Abe is wearing Ralph Lauren shirt, Zara Boys pants, Precise shoes, and Eiger watch.

Al is wearing Zara Boys shirt, Carter pants, Precise shoes, Nike socks, and Adidas backpack.

I really need to have more skill on my photography 😁

Oh… This is Abe’s church drum class audition.

Al is going into keyboard class. We haven’t heard anything about the schedule. We’ll keep you posted.

Monday, 1 May 2017

It’s May Day. No school today. We’re gonna stay at home all day 😁

Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Updated our entrance with a homemade bench. We got hats, shoes cabinets, jackets, umbrella, keys, watches, sunglasses, and bags in a bench.

It’s an entrance/mudroom/launch pad. I put the kid’s school bags and church bags inside the bench. It has a compartment inside with a sliding doors. Each kid has their own space. The kids will prepare their bags for school or church, so the next morning they can sit and put on their shoes, grab their bags, jackets, hats and go go go!

You know how chaotic school days will be when everything just spreading here and there. Where’s your launch pad?

7.14pm what’s this?

It flew in the kitchen and stay on the kitchen cabinet… Soooooooo big 😡

Wednesday, 3 May 2017

3.47pm thunderstorm is coming again 😭 Yesterday I got so scared coz thunders was storming for at least 30 minutes, non-stop, then the power was off. Now, it’s happening again 😫

Luckily, I’ve sent Abe to tutor. Now I’m gonna do what’s left in my to do list. Let me show you my lunch today.

Butter toast with peanut butter and granola, also a big glass of banana, strawberries, avocado, oats smoothies. Yum πŸ‘Œ

Thursday, 4 May 2017

7.48am working on my planner. Some urgent matters needs to be handled soon πŸ€”

Oh… We found another snake last night 😡 Abe was calling, saying that he found a worm in the house, by the coffee corner. I grabbed my salt container, wanted to sprinkle some at it. Hubby said, it wasn’t a worm, it was a baby snake 😱

Oh my Lord! I’m so scared of snakes and we already found 3 in our house 😭 1 was at the backyard, 1 at the front yard, and now in the house 😭😭😭 How can I sleep??? 😡 Someone please tell me how to live in a village and not to worry about snakes at all 😨 Please tell me 😭

Friday, 5 May 2017

12.41am shut off my computer. Laying on bed. Trying to sleep.

I’m exhausted. Today was a circus. Let me tell you my route today.

School – home – school – home – school – home – school – home – tutor – home – tutor – home

All those while doing my chores 😌 Finished my housework around 8pm, had shower, sent the kids to bed, start working on my computer. Writing. Now better close my eyes 😫

4.30pm storm 😨

8.35pm had my shower and now on the bed. Today is my lazy day. You know… I noticed, when there’s a day that I was like wooz wooz wooz… The next day, I’ll be like lame lame lame…

Yesterday I was so on the go, checked 90% off my list… Today, I only did 10% πŸ€”

I sent the kids to school, I did a load of laundry, I folded, I ironed. That’s all I did. I didn’t even workout 😌 The boys ate leftovers.

I did take the kids for badminton

We spent an hour there. They get to play. I get to spend time with my friend. It’s a win win πŸ˜‰

So yesterday, Al wrote his exam schedule on my desk calendar

I didn’t know it until I was sitting on my desk and start planning my day. Then I saw it. It’s good that he started to acknowledge how important scheduling is. Writing down things really helps.

I’ve tried so many types of planning. Now, I’m quite happy with my own planner. I wrote down everything that I need to do that day, the week, the month, the year. I’ll do a post on it.

So… I write down literally everything. Coz often, I ran around like a lost sheep. Didn’t know what to do when there are definitely many things to do. I ended up doing nothing. So, my planner helps me a lot. Like a lot.

Well… There are times like today that I don’t do much. And I don’t push myself. I did so much, then when I feel like I want to slow down, I’ll slow down. What about the works? It’ll be there tomorrow. No one’s going to die when I don’t sweep the floor, right?

Saturday, 6 May 2017

10.05am let’s plan but 1st… Coffee

Look who’s enjoying the weekend 😁

6.15pm waiting on my pizza dough

I have a whole post on it and my review on Kapal Api Grande White Coffee

I’m very slow today. I have cram 😨 It happens everytime I have my period. I tried to sleep on it, but always failed. At the end, I have to take Panadol, my pain killer. I know it’s not a good solution, but I have too. I don’t have any choice. It’s painful and I can’t bear pain 😭

8.51pm on the bed. The kids are still watching Ninja Turtles on HBO. Finished their dinner. Here is the pizza…

Now… I’m gonna sleep. I don’t feel very good today πŸ˜”

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WITL #14 – Flashback

Sunday, 2 April 2017

5.13pm just finished ironing the clothes.

Those are from a week laundry. I don’t iron all of the clothes. I just iron the kid’s uniforms and some clothes that has certain fabric that are easily crumpled.

And let me show you what happen when you ask the boys to pickup and organize their Lego.

Lego madness! πŸ˜ͺ
I wanted to do rearrange and reorganize my kitchen.

But, it’s pretty late and I still haven’t sweep and dust the house 😌 Life isn’t always what you wanted it to be. You just need to keep rolling 😁

9.16pm just finished my shower. We were sitting and laughing with the kids till my stomach hurts πŸ˜‚

We were watching their videos. I realized, I did a lot of filming back then. It really is quite useful. We can watch it all together, laughing, cherishing the moments. We can’t turn back time, but we can watch them 😁 I should do more filming again. But they’re big now and very shy. Unlike back then when they’re younger. But this blogging also kinda redeemer to that πŸ˜†

Monday, 3 April 2017

12.40pm Things are a bit crazy today. I sent Abe to school, went to wet market. Bought 5kg of fish and 5kg of chicken. Then came back home and find Al was having a moment 😌

The thing is he gets up early and don’t switch off the AC. And when my mom switch it off, he’ll get upset and switch it on again 😀 I told him many many times that we should always… Always switch off the AC as soon as we got up. Electricity bill is expensive. Yet he did that again. Kids have all the privileges of being kids πŸ˜…

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Stocking up on my freezer meals.

5kg of fish and 5kg of chicken. Some frozen chicken nuggets, meatballs, sausages, and chicken wings. Enough for 2-3 weeks of meals.

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

12.27pm I’m stuck at Suzuki Service Center, the car needs its maintenance. Thank God, we have the budget for it. But need to cut down on others. Momma needs to rewrite the budget 😌

20.43pm just got home took Abe looking for a pair of jeans for his test tomorrow. I picked him up from school at 9 am and he didn’t tell me anything about wearing a pair of long pants. It was about 7pm he told me 😀 The fact is… He doesn’t have a pair of​ long pants. Even though he had, he always ask me to cut the pants. He doesn’t like to wear long pants. And we have to search for a long pants his size and it wasn’t easy. Adult size is too big and kid size is too small 😌

Thursday, 6 April 2017

1.45pm I spent most of my time at the school coz Abe doesn’t know what he’ll be finished with the test. And I sent the boys to the barbershop. Finally got their haircut πŸ’‡

21.17pm I sweep, mop, and washed​ my comforters. Now, I’m gonna have my tea and start working on my computer.

Friday, 7 April 2017

1.47am I can finally crossed all of my to do list.

Feel soooooooo good πŸ˜†

8.17pm came back from the kid’s Easter at a church with the school. The boys are having a fun time.

And Abe kinda having his ‘moments’ with the sermon. He’s a sensitive boy and gets more sensitive when it comes to God’s words. Every night when we read our Bible, when it touch him, he’ll cry. It happened again last night at the church. My poor boy… I hope his friends don’t make fun of him. God bless you boy πŸ™πŸ˜‡

Saturday, 8 April 2017

8.16am had my Joel Osteen time and as soon as I finished and came out of the room, ‘reality’ hit me then there goes my – trying to be positive – day πŸ˜‘

2.41pm the kids are changing their bed sheets, I cooked, the kitchen is clean, laundry folded, waiting on the 2nd load of laundry, hubby is working on the kitchen (finally) and I’m sitting here blogging while having peanut butter sandwich and my 2nd cup of coffee.

Sometimes what you need is to have a 5 minutes of sitting down and have a good cup of coffee and you’ll have more energy to do the rest of the chores.