This morning is a gloomy day. The sky is dark and I was sundrying my laundry.
When I came back from sending the kids to school, mom asked me to take care of the laundry, move it somewhere else coz it’s going to rain. I said, it’s fine, it won’t rain.
I made my coffee and started Bible journaling. Then my mom called me again (about an hour or so), “It’s going to rain. Move the laundry!”. I stopped writing and looked out the window, it’s drizzling, very thin. I told my mom to not worry, it’s not going to rain. Then she got upset.
It’s windy and I can see the sun is peeping behind those dark clouds. I’m not a weather expertise, but I can see that it’s not going to rain.
My mom gets easily upset over anything. Even the smallest thing. Well, for me it was small but obviously it’s huge to her.
This happens to me sometimes, worrying too much about something, spending my energy and emotion over some little things. Without the understanding of what’s really going on, I got upset and worried.
As I got older, I realized that worrying about something I don’t really understand get in the way of my happiness. What is the result of being upset about something? I got anxious, discouraged, lost focus, not able to do anything right. Nothing is good about it. And it made me tired.
A lot of things happen without us understanding what was going on. Why this and that happens to us? What have I done wrong? What to eat? What to wear? How to pay the bills?
When I was living alone, away from my family, single, literally alone. I didn’t have all those feeling. The worrying, the upset, the anxiety, I had none of those and I was not really into church. Yet I was not worry at all about my life. I have full faith. A thousand percent faith that God was taking care of me. My life was just flowing and I enjoyed every bit of my success career.
Then I got married, have kids, and my mind was overwhelmed by all of “What if” moments. What if my baby got choked over a spinach? What if I can’t feed my kids? What if my marriage doesn’t work? What if I got divorce? What if… What if… What if…
I started to overthink everything, anything. We argued alot. We still do, but which couple don’t? I was fighting over my principle, defending myself, trying to prove that I was right. And obviously, my hub was thinking the same.
Different upbringing, different brain, different mindset, different personalities, living together trying to work things out, and it’s haaaaaaaaard.
It’s hard trying to stay focus on your blessings when people around you are giving all the negative attitude and messing with your mind. And it’s even harder when you’re attached to them for life hahahaha
Overtime, I grow up. I switch my thinking and change my perspective. I can not fight every battle. I can not keep trying to defend myself and proof that I am right. I just need to let go and let God.
Some of the battles got allowed in your life are not just about you. Sometimes it’s to make a statement to the people around you. You don’t have to argue, don’t need to proof anything, God will show them what they need to see. In His time. In His way.
When I change my attitude towards problem, I live in peace. When I know that nothing can happen without His permission, amazing things happen.
You’ll know when I’m trying to let go by seeing my reaction towards something. I am a chatty person. I love to talk. I can talk about anything for hours. But when I turn cold and speak less towards someone or something, that means I’m backing off. I put my hands off that thing and I’m letting God works on it.
It’s just not worth my time, not worth my peace, not worth my energy, to fight over something. It’ll just get me worked up and distracting me over some things that are more important.
When you’re facing some problems that seem to have a never ending process in your life. Bad finances, health issues, poor choices, or anything negative. Change your perspective. God controls the universe. Be still and know that He is God.