I was showing a person a video about a DIY home project. It was pretty easy, doable, cheap, and we have most of the materials on hand. I was pretty excited. Then that person made a comment, “Of course it turned out good, they used ‘that’!”. I was stunned at how shallow that person’s mind was. How negative! ‘That’ thing was a tiny little thing compare to the whole idea. We could do the project even without ‘that’.
That comment is a negative highlight of that person’s personality. Or… An inferiority. Either way, it’s negative. A negative person will always try to find anything to talk themselves out of something. They will find themselves incapable of doing anything they don’t want (avoid) to do.
Here are some of the things I do to avoid myself from negativity:
- Turn an obstacle into a challenge. Whenever I find myself trapped in a difficult situation, I challenge myself to get out of there. I can be very persistent. I will try to turn things around in my head, make a plan (most of the time, I don’t even have any plan), take action. That’s why I do a lot of ‘first’. I will go with my guts and all I have, to make myself out of difficulties. It’s not a matter of a good brain, it’s a matter of willingness. I’m a strong believer that anything can be learned, as long as you have the willingness to learn.
- Don’t set NO as a default answer. I have a hard time saying no as an answer. I know sometimes it will disadvantage me, but it’s necessary when I need something to work out. I had my first job at a bank coz I said YES. I had my first job as a Sales & Marketing coz I said YES. Then it led me to my first job at a 5* hotel coz I said YES. I had my first job as a Secretary coz I said YES. I had my first client as a Virtual Assistant coz I said YES. I did my first website designing coz I said YES. I did my first writing contribution coz I said YES. I had a lot of ‘first’, as I mentioned. I don’t let my limitations determine my destiny.
- Achievement recognition. It is okay to tell your story. It is okay to recognize your achievements. It is okay to share your success. As long as you’re using it to boost your confident, not to put others down. You need to remind yourself that you CAN do it. Never talk yourself down. There’s nothing you can not do. You have been doing great and you will do more greatness.
- Shut up! If you can’t say any good things, you better shut your mouth. What’s worst in negativity other than to hurt others by your words? Being critical is important, but being nice is crucial. You can’t get any positive outcome from a negative mouth. An adult controls their mouth.
- Turn off bad news. Watch what you bring into your mind. Stay away from bad news. This world is already broken, you can’t fix it and make the world a better place if you yourself is broken. Heal yourself then heal others. Read motivational books, listen to sermons (if you’re a religion person), watch inspirational movies, find success stories, etc. Bring in positivism to your mind so you will have positive outcome.
- Don’t assume. Stop being such a mind reader. You don’t know everything. You don’t know someone’s story. You don’t live their life. When someone want to visit you, don’t assume that they wanted something from you. Maybe they just want to connect. When some family offer you an opportunity, don’t assume that they’re trying to step on your ego. You would’ve missed your lifetime success if you reject the offer over some pride. When some friends ask you to dinner, don’t assume that they just want you to take the bill. Maybe they just want to hang out with you, to know you better, to be your friend, so your not so lonely.
- Set reasonable goals. Goals are important. You can’t live your life like a mindless zombie. Waking up in the morning not knowing what to do coz you don’t have a goal. You need to set a purpose, make a plan. What are the things you’re trying to achieve? Nothing is impossible, yet you need to be reasonable. Once you set your goals too high, when you don’t get the result you wanted, you can get discouraged, and it will set you down. If it’s reasonable, most likely you will success. You will have more confident to set another goal. Do it slowly, take baby steps, learn as much as you can.
- Let go! People can hurt us. People can cheat on us. People can be evil. It’s not something you can fix. It’s not your job to punish them. It’s useless to dwell on it. If you keep carrying the pain, it will burden your steps, you will be walking limbs, take you slower to your destination. Your mind will start taking unnecessary precautions. Stopping you from moving forward, too afraid you’ll get hurt again, always see the bad side of everybody. All you can do is learn from it, let go, move forward.
- You’re not God. You’re imperfect. You have flaws. Take it easy with your mind. Don’t let it go wild. Always see the brighter side of everything. Start taking notes of your gratitude. Don’t praise yourself too high that you can’t see other’s goodness.
- God owns everything. No matter what you have or don’t have, it all belongs to God. God can give you everything, yet He can take everything. Stay humble. Keep honoring God.
I see negative people live in such a tiring life. Always burden their mind with ‘what if’. Taking unnecessary precautions. Giving unimportant comments. Sabotaging their mind. Take off all of your pride, learn from others, listens, and I promise you will have a peaceful life.