These few days are rough but not unbearable.
As always, I keep my opinion to myself. The words stays and not spilled out. I stayed away from everybody. Staying away from my emotional breakdown.
This morning before church, my spirit was low. Way low than I was before. I kinda wanted to skip church but I don’t wanna be at home.
At that moment, I wish that I’m single and alone, like 15 years ago. I can do whatever I want without worrying about anybody or anything.
But I’m not single and I need to take my children to church. So, we went to the church.
Do you know what a church do to you? It lifted up your spirit. It strengthen your faith. It worth your time.
Having to worship God and be together with people in faith, makes you feel better. Knowing that I’m blessed in many ways that I may not understand.
To be able to put some clothes on me, to be able to have meals on the table, to have gas so I can go to church. I’m blessed.
Yes, I have my difficulties, problems, issues, but hey…. Who doesn’t?
I was feeling disappointed for those who seems don’t (wanna) understand my situation. Trying to be ignorance thinking that they have a bigger problem than I do. Which I think, mine is bigger. Still… We all have our own priorities right?
Well maybe I’m not in their priority list, so they kinda shut me off. And I feel discouraged. I feel abandoned, alone, hurt. That’s what happens when you rely on people. When you put your hopes on people.
Church reminds me that to God only is my hope should be. That whatever I need and hope for, God only can provide. God never disappoint.
His time may not be synchronized with yours, but some delay here and there is not a failure. He never fails to fulfill His promises, He’s just putting everything in its place at its time.
After church I don’t suddenly solve all of my problems, but I’m glad I went. I got so much more.