Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Daily Prompt, Parenting, Thoughts, Writings

Turning Point

I’m not in a state to tell you don’t and do thingy. It’s just something I do and think on how to turn my life from having the victim mentality into someone who wanted to put a stop to a disadvantage in life. 

I used to be someone who looked at everything at its worst and I dwell on it, thinking heavily about it, stressing over it, being a paranoid, afraid of being hurt, and I stayed in that point for a very long time. 

I used to be someone who made a mistake and thinking that it was my turning point. That I destined to be like that. That it was my fate. Live in the mistake. There’s no point in fixing me. I was already broken. 

I was in the victim mentality. 

Then I got older, wiser, and I see clearer. I put a stop to it. All those victim things didn’t make me a better person. Instead, I was living a life that’s full of negativity and ungratefulness. Everything seemed to be setting me up as a victim with zero chance of winning. 

I put a stop at my bad habits. I put a stop at my stubbornness. I put a stop at my cockiness. I humble myself to learn from others. I try to keep doing my best even if I don’t get recognized. I control myself. I’m adulting every single day. 

Yes, I do sometimes disappointed by the lack of recognition of all the hard work I do. I got anxious when I’m not being noticed. I got upset when I feel that I’m alone in this. I feel that I’m empty in this fullness. 

Yes, I got overwhelmed by all the mess in my life. Trying to do everything in my limitations. Fighting for everything that needed to be fixed in this jungle of uncertainty. Facing my biggest enemy yet a huge deal to face with. 

Trying to be understood by not sending the wrong message of war. Keeping the peace is always the hardest thing to do. I’m always standing on a thin ice who could’ve break at a tiny single move. 

All of those things are jumbling inside my head. My heart gets easily broken. I’m fixing myself at every moment of my life. I want to be better. I refuse to be someone who I hated so much. I’m not gonna get comfortable to my disadvantages. I’m not gonna be a victim. I will work hard to achieve what I deserve. I’m not giving up to laziness. Certainly not surrendering to any addictions, who would eat me alive and make me a useless person. 

I’m gonna be the role model for my children. They’ll know how to live their life at their best. Honoring God and receiving their blessings. 

How you start is not important. How you finish is all that matters. 

It is not how live in the past. It’s how you live in the present.

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Author:

An ordinary mom trying to do my bit of everything in the best way I could

2 thoughts on “Turning Point

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