Posted in Adulting, Christianity, Thoughts, Writings

None? No way!

I got my 1st English on Elementary School. I learned the word NONE. It’s a word representing nothing, empty, zero, none. I learned how to use it in a sentence. Now, that I’m at the age of almost 40 😁, I learned that I don’t have a none. 

In life, there’s always something. There are never a none moments in our life. Even when you said that you’re alone, lonely, or you have nothing… You are not alone and you always have something. You just don’t see it. 

We often get overwhelmed by the troubles in our life. The obstacles, the challenges, the sadness, the lost, the disappoinment, all of those diseases, got us trapped and blindfolded. Unable to see what’s around us. Hard to listen to any sound when you’re in a room, panicking, too focus on your situation, trying to get out. Trying to breath. 

I was wondering around looking for an identity, looking for love, looking for anyone who would’ve accepted me, caring about me, anything that would’ve make me see my worth. 

I was so caught up by hatred, self conscious, low self-esteem. So focused on getting attention to anybody, anyone at all. But no matter what I did. I was never good enough to catch their attention. 

I hated everybody. I hated myself. 

Everyone seemed very proud of themselves, for being the hero of my life. But I wasn’t saved. I was still trapped, blindfolded, unable to hear or see. When they’re busy talking about their success in me, looking at me like a trophy. Polished and glittery. I couldn’t even screamed​ for help. 

Then I found God. The center of the universe. The almighty that controls everything beyond any human’s brains. The One. 

I found that I was not blindfolded nor trapped at all. I’m free to go anywhere I want. I’m gonna be anything I want to be. I’m the child of God. How could I not see it? How did I miss so many blessings and opportunities in my life? 

There are people who love me. It’s just that they love me in many different form of loving. I’m surrounded by people who cares about me. It’s just that they takes care of me in many different ways. I do have self worthy. It’s just that I compared​ too much. I wanted to have what other people have. So caught up to what I wanted, that I don’t see what I have. 

I used​ to say I have nothing. None. Now… I have everything. Everything that God wanted me to have. I just need to open my heart and see, in any situation… How blessed I am. 

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An ordinary mom trying to do my bit of everything in the best way I could

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