Posted in Thoughts

Christmas!

What is Christmas? For me its nothing (yet). I have this dreams to have such a memorable event to my family. To have a family tradition every Christmas. I don’t have any memory of my childhood for Christmas. I don’t have any good memory at all on my childhood. I want my children to have memorable moments with me, even when I’m gone. I want them to pass the tradition to my grandchildren and tell them that they used to do it every year with Grandma.

I have bad memories on my father and on my mother. I have very little good memories with them. I remember the rejection, the yelling, the frustration, the struggle, the heartache, and the list is long. I don’t want that for my children. I want them to have the best childhood memories. Its not about being showered with materials and money related, but its about the love. I want them to remember the love that we have in the family. I don’t want them to be me.

Be patient my babies. 12 years and I’m still trying my best to give you all the love you need. I’ll build my faith so that I can stand tall in any storm, for you. I’ll not give up on you. I’ll not be weakened by the pain. I have God that’ll love me unconditionally that every cut will be cured by The Lord so that I’m able to provide the love for you.

Merry Christmas boys! May you have the strength to continue the journey with me as I’m trying to be stronger every time for you. Be blessed and be grateful for everything.

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An ordinary mom trying to do my bit of everything in the best way I could

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